Ode to Her

My grandmom(Muthashi) was one strong woman who used to be the source of strength for the entire family. Being the mother of 9 children it was obvious that by the time she was in her 90’s all her children were tied up in their own families and had children and some their own grand children. Also some of them had health issues which did not permit them to move around as freely as they would want but Muthashi would go meet them once a day walking through fields till she was 93 and then by auto. She had evaded all kinds of ailments till the age of 94 but the cancer that she got took her away at 95. Anyways that’s the least of things that we remember her for.

As a kid she has taken me to school for a long time when my amma was expecting bro and she very patiently bore all the idiosyncrasies of mine on the way picking stones, flowers (oh yes you could do all that once upon a time in Bangalore when there was hardly any traffic). Also she would not hesitate to whack me for anything done wrong.



When I was in 10th I was a huge salman fan and had a big poster of his (Maine Pyar kiya one) on my room wall. When Muthashi came to stay over I had given up my room and after a few days she calls my mother and says ‘Can you please take that lady’s poster from the wall’ I don’t want to see it the first thing when I get up in the morning. Just imagine my expression to be told that my hero who I thought is all macho being called a woman



In college I had started experimenting on hair styles and the first time I had to go to kerala sporting it amma was worried how all her sisters would react. By the way amma is the youngest daughter so you can imagine how many sisters she would have to handle. Predictably everybody reacted as if I had done a huge crime. But then Muthashi came to my rescue telling what’s wrong and that am looking nice. Oh my ‘hero’ she was.



Muthashi with her healthy lifestyle habits used to hardly fall ill except for gastric issues but with that also she used to love creating a ruckus at home and in 2 days time she would want all her kids to come and meet her who would all come tumbling from Bangalore, Mumbai, baroda etc. By the way I have to admit I can identify with her trait because I have got it too. One small cold and I bring the roof down with the melodrama. Anyways coming back to Muthashi at the same time in this condition if you take her to a hospital or even a clinic she will dress up in the best of clothes and at the clinic will sit so prim and proper that we get worried thinking what the doctor will say that we got a healthy person to clinic. Aristocratic she was.



Once when my cousin was taking her pictures on a digital camera (by the ways she had just discovered that in this photos can be deleted and new ones can be taken) she made him take atleast 5-6 times because she didn’t like the way she looked. She was way too fast in catching the logic of gadgets at her age.



She was not very interested in watching tv but her one weakness was watching Kathakalli be it on tv or if its happening in the village. If she’s in Bangalore of course she would watch it on tv but when she’s in the village and its happening she would go with everyone with mats and stay through the night to watch it. For her 90th birthday there was Kathakalli performance which was organized by her children in our Tharavadu (ancestral home) and it thrilled her so much.



These were few of the interesting and humorous memories of her.



Can’t remember her for the last few days of illness but can remember only for all the strength, humour and inspiration provided throughout. As for us she was like a permanent fixture in our lives never thought she would go away at all and with her passing away so it came as a huge jolt for all.

It would be a year now in August that she passed away but can still see her smile and life full of energy in front of my eyes.

'In'trospect

“Faith is what you feel is right”. I always used to think of faith in this manner and nowadays hear more people tell that.

Since childhood my mother used to tell me so many things in terms of imposing faith like ‘pray only after taking bath’, ‘go to temple on your birthday’, ‘light the lamp twice a day’ etc etc. Each time she used to tell me something like this I used to ask my trademark question ‘Why?’ for which her standard reply was that she never used to ask Why to her elders and hence she just assumed that it’s the right way to do things without knowing whether it has got a logic behind it or not. Over the years lot of things which my mother said I found out some had scientific bearings to it and started following and some had a story behind it so did.

Yesterday my uncle mentioned an interesting story about a Shiva temple in one village where the priest who used to do the daily pooja has been doing it since years. Once he fell ill for a long period and hence hired another person to do the pooja. The new person on his first day at the temple came in early in the morning and started searching for the wick for the lamp and found it kept in a box at a height above the shivling. He was wondering how to reach it as he was not that tall and checked with the lady who comes to tie garland at the temple as to how the old priest used to do it. She mentioned that the priest used to stand on the shivling and take the wick from there. The young man’s perplexity increased as he could not imagine doing something like that. He thought that it would be a big sin to do something like that. Finally he thought if the old priest used to do it for yours he should also not refrain and as he was still skeptical placed a leaf on the shivling and placed his feet on it. As soon as he mounted on it his feet it burnt. This is just to say that if you in your heart feel something is right and do it then that is ‘Faith’ if not it might just not be the right thing.

Faith I think is something that comes from within, of course loaded with personal experience. To deal with something you can place a finger on is much easier than because someone forces you to.

Disclaimer: This is my first attempt at writing a short story so posting it after thinking many times.

Washed Out

She stomped out of the house with tears in her eyes got into her car and drove away.

To say the least, he was shocked with her reaction as he knew her mood swings quite well. She had always been the center of attention be it her wit or at discussing a political topic or a social issue. She was the interface between the older generation and new generation as she could discuss anything – be it the all time favorite topic of old gen marriage of a relative or price of grocery being low back in the day or why it’s important for the new gen to communicate on social media or tell the present gen what the latest gaming gizmos are! Whatever she used to do, the one thing that was very prominent is her love for her extended family for which she could go to any extent. Through 10 years of marriage to her, he has come to acknowledge that their family is one of a kind that makes the whole bonding between relatives look effortless. So he was definitely alarmed with her reaction to the relatives’ usual query on the void in their life.

He still remembers the first time he met her. Though initially reluctant to get into a commitment of marriage as he was only interested in studying and his career, he had to later give in to his father’s persistent pleas of seeing him ‘settled’. He lands at her house at the decided time and was immediately attracted to her easy wit, open demeanor and expressive features.
Like all arranged marriages, the first initial years of marriage was a trial due to varied interests, getting adjusted to each other’s mood changes and professional commitments. During all this, without both of them realizing it was their love which started triumphing over all. After they realized that they were never going to have children this bond just grew stronger. She pursued all her interests writing and fashion designing. He went ahead with his pursuit of career excellence by adding degrees onto his credit and plunged into his career.
Now when his phone rang even before picking it he knew that she was calling from the park at the outskirts of the city. She had reached there and after a bout of crying wanted him to take her back to their house…..

'Hinglish' - Got closer to reality

Hinglish movies were the attempts by some new directors at making realistic movies. This is one genre of movies which I have come to like because of the simple treatment given to it and utmost attention given to its story and screenplay. Once I started watching I was of course hooked to them. Though the list is endless some of the ones that I remember as being ones which I liked the best are the ones I have described below. The others which I have enjoyed are Mr & Mrs Iyer, Jhankaar Beats, Hollywood Bollywood, Bend it like Beckam, Monsoon Wedding, 15 park avenue and Missisippi Masala to name a few:-)


English August - My first tryst with the new age Hinglish movie and savoured it to the last drop. I had watched at the time when we still didnt have cable at home and so watched it on DD2 which was the hepper channel then compared to DD1.

The story is about Agastya an IAS officer who is sent for a year's training to Mandna a very hot town. The entire movie revolves around how he is culture shocked being from the current generation, the associations he makes and how he copes up and survives during his stay. This has some amazing acting by Rahul Bose.

At the end of the movie I was in love with this new kind of genre of movies and secondly Rahul Bose. Both these interests have added to my list of movies.



Hyderabad Blues - This was the time when I was in college and had heard lot of hype around this movie. The movie was in news because of it being made by young new director, the movie being made with meagre budget and because of its subject. The day the movie released TOI had a coupon which could be exchanged by college students at movie theatres in exchange of the ticket. So that's how my friend and I landed for the movie at Lido and was very pleased with the result. We also got to Nagesh Kukunoor the director who was there during a promotional stunt.Yes,I still have the autographed ticket:-)

The movie is about an NRI Varun who comes back to India on Vacation. The different themes around the movie contributing to it being a laugh riot is him meeting with his college friends in their current scenarios of being married, looking for a bride etc. Varun who had staunch opinions of Indian women being orthodox or only waiting for a chance to get married to an NRI for a chance to go abroad. In the process of looking for a bride for his friend he falls in love with his friend's wife's Dr. friend. Then the movie moves on to how they who have completely different diverse opinions one on religious customs and one on the NRI culture get together and finally tie the knot. All to all a complete paisa vasool with a refreshing conversational style of dialogue delivery.



Mitr - The movie was about Lakshmi an orthodox south indian who marries Prithvi and settles in USA. She gradually settles into the new environment. In a year's time with daughter Divya's entry to their lives it becomes a perfect family. After 19 years its Divya's life of partying, playing soccer etc which causes Lakshmi's worry and rift between mother and daughter. Prithvi gets trapped between mother and daughter and starts staying aloof which further aggravates when Divya leaves their home due to Lakshmi's interference in her life. Lakshmi seeks a ear with an internet friend 'Mitr' who gives her confidence in pursuing her interests of dancing, carpentry etc. At one point a hurt Divya realizing her mistake comes back home. She coaxes her mother to meet 'Mitr' and the last scene of their meeting which turns out to be Prithvi brings the family back together.